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If many of us are in a state of mourning from all the changes Covid-19 has brought into our lives then how do we as believers comfort those around us? When someone we care about is grieving it is hard to know what to say or to do. One tactic is to ignore the grief or try to downplay it in our own lives or others. This can be one of the most destructive tactics, grief never really goes away, it changes, we learn how to emotionally identify it in our lives and how to cope with it. So this tactic of ignoring it creates this ugly monster shoved deep in our souls and trust me the monster will break out with a vengeance.
As Christians one tactic I have seen that seems to be a great idea to comfort someone during grief is quoting scripture. Well I can assure you that many times those of us grieving are not ready to hear those verses. We still believe in the truth of God's word, but at that moment we may not receive those words in the way you intended. As a young widow if another person quoted Romans 8:28 to me I was going to scream, did God work everything for good according to His purpose-ABSOLUTELY! But I promise you it was really hard to see the good in the thick of grief.
So what should we do?
I think the best example comes from the book of Job, now when we usually think about Job several things pop to mind.
But I think later in the book we see Job's friends give the best example of comforting someone during grief.
11 When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2:11-13
Job's friends just sat beside him and grieved along with him. They did not say a word for seven days!!! Many times when someone is grieving they just need someone to sit with them so they know that they are not alone. I promise you there is nothing you are going to say that will fix their grief, no scripture that is going to take the pain away and no flower arrangement that is going to distract them from their pain. If I close my eyes I can still feel the tears of my dearest friends, hear their prayers over me and feel their hands over me as I layed on a hospital floor grieving the loss of my husband.
So as we all grieve the loss of life before Covid-19, maybe the way we comfort each other is just to be there for one another. To be honest and share with each other our fears, struggles and breakdowns. This may have to be through texts, calls and emails for a while. But don't forget we will have to help each other up, remind each other it is time to take off our sack cloths and praise God for all the good things He is doing in the world today.
Sack Cloth Part 2
04/03/2020
Sack Cloth Part 2If many of us are in a state of mourning from all the changes Covid-19 has brought into our lives then how do we as believers comfort those around us? When someone we care about is grieving it is hard to know what to say or to do. One tactic is to ignore the grief or try to downplay it in our own lives or others. This can be one of the most destructive tactics, grief never really goes away, it changes, we learn how to emotionally identify it in our lives and how to cope with it. So this tactic of ignoring it creates this ugly monster shoved deep in our souls and trust me the monster will break out with a vengeance.
As Christians one tactic I have seen that seems to be a great idea to comfort someone during grief is quoting scripture. Well I can assure you that many times those of us grieving are not ready to hear those verses. We still believe in the truth of God's word, but at that moment we may not receive those words in the way you intended. As a young widow if another person quoted Romans 8:28 to me I was going to scream, did God work everything for good according to His purpose-ABSOLUTELY! But I promise you it was really hard to see the good in the thick of grief.
So what should we do?
I think the best example comes from the book of Job, now when we usually think about Job several things pop to mind.
- Job had it way worse than we have ever experienced.
- Job's wife was the worst!
- Job's friends were absolutely no help in the beginning.
But I think later in the book we see Job's friends give the best example of comforting someone during grief.
11 When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2:11-13
Job's friends just sat beside him and grieved along with him. They did not say a word for seven days!!! Many times when someone is grieving they just need someone to sit with them so they know that they are not alone. I promise you there is nothing you are going to say that will fix their grief, no scripture that is going to take the pain away and no flower arrangement that is going to distract them from their pain. If I close my eyes I can still feel the tears of my dearest friends, hear their prayers over me and feel their hands over me as I layed on a hospital floor grieving the loss of my husband.
So as we all grieve the loss of life before Covid-19, maybe the way we comfort each other is just to be there for one another. To be honest and share with each other our fears, struggles and breakdowns. This may have to be through texts, calls and emails for a while. But don't forget we will have to help each other up, remind each other it is time to take off our sack cloths and praise God for all the good things He is doing in the world today.
--Ashley Lankford